Meeting in the ladies room…

It had been a few weeks since we had been at church. My spirit was craving the fellowship. With giddy hands, I applied my mascara and finished up by applying some pink gloss on my lips. It felt so good to get back to church. So good.

Until my husband said these words, “On second thought, I am going to head into work and get some much needed paper work done. It will make my day easier on Monday. Y’all go ahead and I will meet you back at home later.”

And just like that….my little happy bubble was busted. All over the bathroom floor were my feelings of sadness and resentment.

I muttered something under my breath…then immediately regretted it. Thankfully, he didn’t hear me.

My mood went from happy to disappointed in about 2 seconds flat.

Ugh.

I was so looking forward to sitting together…the four of us. The college boy was home and we were finally going to all be together again on that back row at church.

The kids and I arrived at church. I was still not happy. I even started feeling sorry for myself…..”poor pitiful me. I have to take my family to church because my husband has chosen to work….”

My attitude was pretty bad, I will admit.

Until something happened.

A divine intervention to say the least.

God knew the state of my heart. He sees all things. He knows all things.

As the music began, I quietly slipped out to the bathroom. I had forgotten to go on the way in.

Washing my hands in the bathroom, I ran into a sweet friend that I had not seen in a while. Her husband has been sick. Very sick.

I hugged her and we caught up right smack in the middle of the ladies room.

Before our conversation ended, she told me that her husband was not able to work at the time due to his illness and surgery. She told me how hard it was for him not to work, and how he missed working.

Big, huge, Texas sized lump in my throat, I nodded quietly.

Here I was…complaining about my husband needing to go into work on a Sunday… and here she was….with a precious husband more than willing but unable to work at this time.

The Lord knows how to get our attention, doesn’t He?

My heart quickly softened, and all but melted on another bathroom floor.

The entire service I prayed for her husband, and at the same time, gave thanks for my husband who was at work.

Sweet friends, we can be so hard on our husbands. Nagging, suggesting, comparing them to “other” husbands. endlessly complaining….

We must stop.

Peter teaches the wives in 1 Peter…”You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

I have pondered on this verse for weeks now.

Is my heart gentle and quiet?

Hmm…maybe ask my children. They do not lie.

Some days are better than others.

But, let’s take an honest evaluation of ourselves. Friend to friend.

How is our behavior to those under our roofs?

The roofs where we tend to little hearts and big hearts and husbands trying to bear the load of the family.

Are we grateful? Are we thankful? Are we content? Are we submissive to our husbands authority?

Let’s read the beginning of 1 Peter and see if there are some areas we need to work on. I am certainly challenged by Peter’s words…

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2

Am I accepting my husbands authority? Or do I rebel against it constantly….because I believe I know better than him.

Am I speaking the Good News of Christ to my husband without any words? Or, does my mouth spew anger, bitterness, snide remarks, and sarcasm.

Am I winning my man over by my pure and reverent life? Or, am I brash and have zero control over my mouth and my actions.

I share these words of Peter as an encouragement, not a judgement for all of us. We will fail many times at being a wife. But, when we mess up, let’s go back to these words of Peter.

Keep practicing kindness. Keep practicing purity, gentleness and quietness of spirit.

What we practice is what we will perfect in due time.

Our husbands may fall out on the floor if we start to practice these things intentionally and regularly. Our countenances will change. Our faces will soften and our words will be less.

“Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces are never ashamed..” Psalm 34:5

We must let our husbands be men. To lead. To be who they are. Even if we think it’s not godly or becoming…let them be.

And maybe they haven’t lead the family well up until now because we have never given them the freedom to do so. Maybe we keep interrupting and correcting and chastising…instead of submitting, listening, encouraging, building them up and praying.

Praying for our men will be much more effective than anything we can try to tell them or guilt them into to change. Trust me on this one.

This will be challenging at times. The enemy will work double time to get us to fail….to fall back into being a bitter, negative, complaining wife.

Don’t let him.

This is a battle that has already been won for us. Jesus said we are a “new creation in Christ Jesus”. 2 Corinthians 5:17

We have access to the fruits of the Holy Spirit.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, and self control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

These belong to us.

Let’s exude them, starting at home.

It’s our calling…our greatest mission.

taping my mouth shut and praying a lot more,

jill