A year of Hope…
If I had one word to describe 2022, it would be the year of HOPE.
Last January was very difficult.
My father-in-law passed away on January 26th.
We were shocked. We were sad. We felt like we had been punched in the stomach.
It was our first parental loss, and it was a painful one.
Soon after his passing, rolling into February, both of my children were suffering from other heartaches and heartbreaks.
By February’s end, I felt like someone was holding a pillow over my face and I was suffocating.
Summer came and things got a little better.
Fall came and the troubles came back full swing.
During this time, God had been very intimate with me. I found Him through scripture and prayer and just the way you find Him through suffering.
He is so close in these times.
One warm Fall day, I will never forget.
I went to work with swollen eyes and a weary soul.
As soon as I walked into that little clothing boutique, I made my way to the clothes steamer. I needed to disappear. I needed to be invisible.
There is something about doing humble work. It bring us close to Jesus.
Mopping, dishes, laundry, ironing, steaming…
The most humble of jobs brings us to the most Holy of places.
I needed Jesus.
I remember praying and praying and just pouring it all out to God.
Surely, I must have looked like sweet Hannah when she went to the altar to pray.
“Hannah prayed to the LORD a long time. Eli was watching her mouth while she was praying. Hannah was praying in her heart. Her lips were moving, but since she did not say the words out loud, Eli thought she was drunk. He said to her, “You have had too much to drink. It is time to put away the wine.” Hannah answered, “Sir, I have not drunk any wine or beer. I am deeply troubled, and I was telling the LORD about all my problems. Don’t think I am a bad woman. I have been praying so long because I have so many troubles and am very sad.” 1 Samuel 1:9
During my time of prayer and just steaming the heck out of those clothes, I heard a whisper to my heart.
“Jill, the end will be better than the beginning.”
I felt a holy peace wash over me.
Time seemed to stand still.
It was the first time I had felt peace in months.
I nodded silently back.
“Ok, Lord. I believe You.”
It was the thread of hope that I needed to persevere.
The scripture I had been hanging onto for dear life from Isaiah 61, kept coming to my heart. Over and over, “beauty from ashes…”
Beauty from ashes was my hope.
Lord, do something beautiful here. I am waiting. I am expectant.
I stand with hands outstretched. Awaiting a miracle.
The miracles came.
One by one.
He fulfilled every broken utterance of prayer.
Some are very personal, and maybe one day, when my children are older and give me permission to share, I will.
Those very close to me, know some of them. However, some of those miracles are between me and God.
There is something precious about secret prayers. Prayers that only He knows about. Prayers that you see Him answer and you just are thrown back with awe and wonder.
I have seen miracles this year.
I plan to see more.
Hope is what cleared the path for me to see.
In June of last year, I was on a long drive by myself. It was right smack in the middle of some hardships.
The entire drive I prayed and prayed and prayed. I was so desperate to hear from Him.
About 20 minutes into my drive I passed a highway sign I had never ever seen before.
The exit said, “Siloam”.
Quickly, I made a note to see what that word meant. It reminded me of the Hebrew word for peace, Shalom.
As soon as I stopped my car, I googled Siloam. It sent me straight to a passage in John chapter 9.
Jesus sent a blind man to wash in the pool of Siloam to be healed.
Jesus had opened this blind mans eyes.
He was now, trying to open mine.
Hope is was opened my eyes.
All those times at His feet, clinging to a thread of hope…
Knowing that He would in some way, somehow, bring beauty from a sea of ashes.
He did.
I opened my prayer journal on January 1st, this year, 2023.
I wrote:
Miracles of 2022..
One by one, I listed every one of them.
Tears filling my eyes as I remembered each prayer, each cry, each lament, each sleepless night…
Jesus took me to the Pool of Siloam. He opened my eyes to allow me to see. To see what He sees.
Hope made it possible.
Do you have hope?
Let this be your year of hope.
No matter how bleak things may seem…
NEVER lose HOPE in Jesus.
He brings beauty from ashes…
He restores the sight of the blind…
He heals broken hearts…
He restores broken relationships…
He heals deadly disease…
Never stop lamenting. Never stop praying.
Each prayer is building the bridge to the miracle….
Trust Him.
He will do immeasurably more than you can think or imagine. Ephesians 3:20
You may have a heart of faith…but do you have a heart of HOPE?
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we cannot see. Hebrews 11:1
going back to the pool of Siloam,
jill
