Wednesday SHINE....
Today's Reading: Micah 1 & 2
Happy Worship Wednesday, SHINE girls!
I have a very special story for you.No, beyond very special. Out of this world, change-your- life-special story to share with you on this worship Wednesday!
Today is the perfect day for this post because I am worshiping our King for the miracles that He gave my friend, Kelly McLeod.
Kelly is one of my very best friends. She is one of those girls that you just want in your life forever! Words cannot express how much I adore this girl. She is truly my one in a million friend.
Kelly's story has touched hundreds of lives. We lived this with her as it was taking place. Her unshakable faith and perseverance inspires so many of us.
Grab your coffee, a warm blanket, some tissues, and be blessed by her story today.
My Story
by: Kelly McLeod
The
last weekend in October 2010, Chad and I started getting the house
organized. It was the first time in my
pregnancy that I actually felt good and I knew it was only a matter of time
before I wouldn't be able to help much.
I was really beginning to show I was pregnant with twins! We got a lot accomplished over the weekend
and we felt really good about our progress.
On Monday morning I had a feeling that something wasn't quite right but
I had an appointment with Dr. Allen on Wednesday so I just chalked it up to
first pregnancy jitters and went on with my day. Tuesday morning I had some very light
bleeding so I called Miss Paula at Women's Healthcare Associates. She discussed with Dr. Allen and asked for me
to come on in. So I did.
Upon
examination, it was decided I would need to get straight over to the hospital
so Miss Amy drove me. I was terrified,
completely panicked and couldn't reach Chad on the phone. I was admitted right away. Amy stayed by my side until mom could get to
the hospital. I'll never forget her
kindness during such a scary time. Mom
had to call the Potts Company and ask them to track Chad down. Later I found out when Chad left work, he
called the Lt. Governor for a police escort into Athens.
We
were told I'd be staying in the hospital until I delivered. We hoped that would be weeks to months. I was diagnosed with incompetent cervix. The amniotic sac was bulging through the
cervix, so they had me lay in the trendelenburg position, where my hips were
higher than my head. The hope was that
between the positioning and medication, the bag would slide back towards the
uterus so that a cerclage procedure could be performed. If we could get a cerclage in, it would close
my cervix and possibly enable me to carry the babies to term, or closer to
it. We just had to wait and see what
happened over the next 24 hours.
There
were some potential problems with performing a cerclage. I was already 22 weeks and 1 day pregnant and
that procedure is typically done well before that stage of pregnancy. Also, the "bag" blocked the view of
the cervix so there was no way to really know if there was much left to sow
back together. There was also the risk
of the procedure rupturing the bag. If
that happened, nothing could be done to prevent labor and hospital policy
dictated that prior to 23 weeks, no measures of resuscitation could be
made.
Ultimately
we opted to forgo the cerclage...too many risks. Instead, I laid in the bed, upside down
counting down the days, hours and minutes.
I was prepared to be there for the long haul, I so wanted to make it to
37 weeks! I had a physical therapist
come in and show me some exercises I could do to keep from being so sore. The staff was so good to me and I had so many
friends and family come show their support.
But I was scared. I had never even felt them move,
but loved these babies so much. I felt utterly helpless...I had just done a
Bible study about the Frazzled female and boy did I feel just that!
The
first few days were long, but nothing compared to Sunday, November 7th. The family gathered, knowing we had to make
it one more day for the babies to have a chance at survival. The time changed Saturday night which gave us
an extra hour of agony waiting. My dad
frantically tore the clock off the wall to spring ahead an extra hour. Dr. Faase, the neonatologist came to speak
with us. She explained hospital policy
and offered to sit with the family and answer their questions. We held our breath most of the day. They continually monitored my blood work for
any sign of infection. The doctor’s
first priority was me, but my only thoughts were for the lives of these two
babies. In the afternoon the doctor
decided it was time for me to sit up. I
was so fearful that the moment I did, I'd immediately go into labor. Instead I got very sick. Even that didn't make my contractions any
worse.
Chad
and I sat in the room together and decided that no matter what happened the
rest of that day, our children needed a name.
We had the book of 100,000 names but one name stood out for us. Chad’s Uncle Rick had mentioned the name Ian
a couple of times. We looked up the
meaning and decided right then and there, it was meant to the name of our
son. Ian is a Gaelic name meaning
"God is gracious".
From there
we began looking at names for our daughter, starting with the I's. We stumbled upon Isabella, a name I always
loved. It means: "Consecrated to God".
Yes it was meant to be.
With
the names selected all we could do was wait...
9:00,
9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30....we counted every minute from 11:30 to
midnight. We could hear the cheer from
the family in the waiting room as the clock struck 12:00. You had a fighting chance.
We finally tried to get some rest. Around 3 am my latest CBC results prompted
Dr. Allen to get ready for delivery. I
had hoped there would be a little more time.
We weren't able to get the steroids to help the development of the lungs
and brain. But waiting any longer would
increase the odds that we'd develop a life-threatening infection.
They
really cranked up the heat in the delivery suite...it needed to be very warm
for the babies. I remember thinking I
wish I had gone to birthing classes. I
hadn't thought to ask anyone how in the world I was supposed to breathe or
push. Chad was so strong and gave me so
much comfort. I had the best care team
you could imagine. Our nurse stayed with
us after her shift ended so she could be a part of the delivery. Linda May was the absolute BEST! They were all wonderful, but Linda was
special. I felt honored to have her be
there with us.
At
5:45, Ian entered the world. He cried
out and it caught me so off-guard that my eyes filled with tears and my heart
ached with worry. The NICU staff went to
work getting him incubated and tubed.
They were absolutely amazing. We
wanted to give them a little time to get Ian stable (as stable as a 23 weeker
gets) before they broke my water with Isabella.
It felt like an eternity, but about 45 minutes later she was born. They were both tiny...a little over a pound
and less than a foot long! That is where
the miracle journey REALLY began...
The
babies were constantly monitored those first couple of days. Everything about that time is a blur for
me. They threw so much information at
us, it was a hard to take it all in. Ian
was much more stable than his sister.
She faced a lot of problems. They
told us it is common for "Baby B", or the second twin to have a more
difficult journey. They suffer more
trauma from delivery. Chad and I spent
the majority of those first few days in prayer. We prayed without ceasing the twins would
survive, that they would thrive, that they would have a chance at a
"normal" life. We prayed the
Lord would fight for them. I repeated
Isaiah 41:10 over and over. "Fear
not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right
hand."
On
November 10th, the Lord held Isabella in His righteous right hand and welcomed
her to heaven. Her fight ended while Ian’s
waged on. We were scared, we had doubts,
but we held firm to our faith. Every
time the devil tried to rob our joy, we looked at Ian and praised God for his
life. Each day was a challenge, but the
Lord carried us. He spoke to us through
His word, through song, through strangers and loved ones alike. I never experienced a walk with the Lord as I
had during those 3 months in the NICU.
For all the Lord gave us during those dark days and for all the support
we received from our medical staff, family and friends, we want to give back. We want to honor Isabella’s memory and pay
tribute to Ian’s miraculous journey.
Our Mission
I
first want to let you know The Second First Foundation is still in the
“pre-production” phase. Trying to
maneuver through all the applications is proving to be a challenge that makes
my head spin, however I believe the Lord is leading us to serve the NICU
community and as such will make a way for us.
I was so excited when Jill asked me to blog about II First – if I’m
honest, I’ve been dragging my heels with getting this foundation established! I’m intimidated by all the hoops you have to
jump through to establish a 501c3 (charitable) corporation! The idea for the foundation was born shortly
after Ian arrived home from the hospital.
In the beginning, all of our focus and energy was on Ian and his
development. Then we needed time to
grieve the loss of Isabella. Now that
Ian has started pre-school a couple of days a week – it’s the perfect
opportunity to get the ball rolling! I’m
excited to share our vision for II First and I hope to receive feedback from
many of you! It may be that one of you
has a skill set that can aid our progress!
I believe so strongly in the power of prayer and in working together
with the body of Christ!
Today,
Ian is just like any other 2 year old child. To look at him now, you would
never imagine the challenges he faced – a miracle I can only attribute to God’s
goodness and mercy. As difficult as that
time in our lives may have been, I believe with all my heart the Lord used
these babies to draw me to Him. I
thought I knew what it meant to walk with Jesus, but before Ian and Isabella I
didn’t understand RELATIONSHIP with Christ.
I thank the Lord each and every day for the trials and triumphs that
helped me trust and love Him more. I
have such a desire to serve him through our II First ministry.
The
twins were born in a community hospital.
We received excellent care and never dreamed of delivering any place
else. But they were born severely
premature, 17 weeks early! The hospital
we delivered at had a pretty advanced Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU),
especially considering it was a smaller hospital. Still with all the equipment they had, the
one piece Ian needed was only on their wish
list. In the end, it became necessary to
transfer to a larger facility that was better equipped to meet his needs. A piece of equipment valued at approximately $30,000
is what separated us from being able to stay within our community while Ian was
nursed to health.
We had spent a month
building relationships with the staff.
The staff spent a month getting to know our son and all of his little
habits. They taught us the lingo, made
sure we were involved in every aspect of his care. They really empowered us to be Ian’s
advocate. In addition to the emotional
set back, transferring from our local hospital to the “more advanced” NICU in
the city posed many physical risks for our son.
Hitting a simple pothole could have caused a brain bleed that could have
impaired Ian’s development.
As it was,
the transferring nurse had to bag him the entire way to the hospital because Ian
didn’t like the ventilator on the rig!
What if they hit traffic? Would
she have had the physical endurance to continue? Probably so, but when I think of all the
“could have
beens” my mind goes to a pretty dark place.
We did not want to leave the place we now thought of as home. Every day was scary but there was comfort in
the familiar surroundings and routine we created in Athens.
It took a little time to adjust to the
bigger hospital. It was farther away and
had a much larger staff, but we were empowered to be Ian’s advocates and we
jumped in with both feet. We cultivated
relationships with their staff. We LOVE
these men and women for how they helped our son but I’d be lying if I said it
was anything short of difficult.
God
had His hand in every detail of Ian’s journey.
When he was born, we were in a blessed situation – I work for family so
I was able to conduct my job at Ian’s bedside.
Although the distance between our home and the hospital was 45 miles
each way, my fuel costs were donated by my work. We weren’t home much except to sleep and
shower, so the yard suffered, but we didn’t have other children to care
for. Because of our favorable
circumstances we were pretty easily able to make Ian the priority. I didn’t have to juggle going to work with
being at the hospital. I didn’t need to
have someone pick up our other kids from school because Ian was all we
had. We just didn’t find ourselves in as
difficult of a situation as many parents do.
I say this, not to diminish what we experienced but to emphasize how
much more difficult it could have been for us and how much more difficult the
reality is for so many families! Many
friends and family members offered to help us, but at the time, I didn’t know
what to ask for. I wasn’t sure what I
even needed. Hindsight really is 20/20
because looking back on it I can tell you with great confidence what we would
have found helpful!
We
were told over and over how important our presence would be to Ian’s
development. Being at the hospital was
the most important thing we could do for Ian.
Still, with everything we had in our favor, making the journey back and
forth to Atlanta every day was a challenge, physically, financially and emotionally. It had been much easier at the local
hospital. Our family and friends were
close by and the commute to the hospital was manageable.
I feel certain that Ian thrived because Chad
and I provided a constant presence at his bedside. We were so very blessed I was able to be with
Ian each and every day he was in the hospital.
Faced with the same situation, many families would not have been so
fortunate.
Through
this experience, we recognized the needs of the parents of Micro Preemies. It also fostered in us a desire to
serve. How could we be so blessed and
not give back?!? There are so many opportunities to serve this community of
families. Micro Preemies, babies born
before 26 weeks, weighing less than 800 grams (1 pound, 12 ounces) are by no
means the common population of NICU patients – they are more the exception than
the rule, however the needs of these families are great.
It is our goal to minister to these families
through The Second First Foundation, to ease the financial and emotional burden
associated with an extended stay in the hospital. We seek to raise funds to provide gas cards
and gift certificates to local restaurants for these families. The financial burden of eating out most meals
or filling up at the gas station takes its’ toll over the course of the 2-4
months micro preemies spend in the hospital.
During Ian’s time in Atlanta, it snowed three times, which meant we had
to stay in a hotel. We hope, through the
foundation to be able to provide assistance to families in these types of
situations.
We
also want to minister to the emotional and spiritual needs of NICU
families. A very close friend of mine
gave me a devotional, Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It changed my prayer life. I read from it each and every day. Today, I read the children’s version to
Ian. This is another goal of our
foundation – to provide devotional materials and Bibles for the families of
Micro Preemies.
During
Ian’s time in the hospital, I was able to utilize the Caring Bridge website to
blog about Ian’s journey in the NICU. It
was a way for me to share the events of each day with all the family, friends
and prayer warriors that followed Ian. It
was a love letter to my precious baby boy.
I am currently working to have the blog posts published in hopes of sharing
it with families facing similar situations, to encourage them.
There
are so many ways we can come together to meet the mission of The Second First
Foundation. Here is one example that I
am so honored to share with you.
I
have an aunt, retired 7th grade school teacher, but no names
here. She’d probably not want the credit
– but I am proud to feature her service to Isabella’s memory.
An
infant has an incredible sense of smell.
It is the most developed sense they are born with. I was told by a lactation specialist that a
baby can smell their mother up to seven football fields away – now don’t quote
me on that because I didn’t look that factoid up on snopes or anything, but the
bottom line here is that a baby recognizes it’s mother by smell. The NICU staff at Athens Regional gave me
this tiny crocheted blanket (affectionately referred to as a “boobie” blanket)
and asked me to put it in my bra for the day – it basically soaked up the
“mommy” smell. So as not to be gender
biased, Chad did this with a blanket too – “daddy” smell works too! When we left for the night, they placed the
blanket in the incubator with Ian to comfort him. It promoted relaxation for him. I found that to be just an incredible
concept! So, back to my aunt, who as
you’ve probably guessed by now, does beautiful crochet work. Since the time I was in the hospital she has
donated probably hundreds of these little blankets in Isabella’s memory. I was not even aware of this fact until over
a year after we’d come home from the hospital.
There is no telling how many families have used these blankets just as
we did with Ian. It may seem like a small
thing, but it is a powerful ministry and it is just one small way we seek to
serve through our foundation.
Those
months in the hospital, Ian continued to grow and develop but we missed getting
him dressed up for his 1st Thanksgiving, 1st Christmas, and
1st New Years! As thankful as
we were to have him alive and growing, getting better each day, a small part of
hearts longed for a way to have those “first” moments again. He may never have another 1st
Christmas, but we were inspired to create for our family a Second First! Last Thanksgiving, I had a friend create a
onesie & bib for Ian to wear as we celebrated my favorite holiday.
I
think it turned out so cute! We hope producing
similar items and selling them will be one of many opportunities to help raise
funds for our foundation.
Our
logo is currently a work in progress, however I have mocked up a version of
what I envision. The Roman Numeral II is what I’d like to use to represent
“Second” – it looks like 2 I’s, put together - for Ian and Isabella! Now obviously, the final product will be
prettier than this version, but hopefully you get what we’re going for…
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I
wanted to share the logo to help you visualize another area we seek to
minister. The Beads of Courage program
was initially created to help pediatric cancer patients chronicle their battle
with the disease. Artisans across the
country hand-craft these beautiful beads and donate them for the program. The idea is that each bead signifies a
procedure or milestone in the journey.
It gives families a physical representation of what each child goes
through. Gwinnett Medical Center was the
first NICU in the country to pilot this program and they kicked off shortly
after we arrived. Ian was somewhat of an
ambassador of the program. He was one of
the more critical patients at the time and as such, we had a LOT of beads! We were interviewed by the local newspaper
and I can remember telling the reporter when the day comes that Ian tells us he
can’t do something, we will just pull out the beads, a gentle reminder that
“CAN’T” isn’t in our vocabulary!
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The
beads are an incredible testimony of each child’s journey. I cannot begin to tell you what they mean for
our family. They represent the
challenges, the triumphs and the hope that exists. We would like to create a bead with our II
First logo to donate to the Beads of Courage organization for babies that are
in the NICU during a holiday.
We
plan to focus our initial efforts at the two facilities that nursed Ian to
health, Athens-Regional Medical Center and Gwinnett Medical Center. We will work together with the NICU to
identify families that would be in need of our assistance. What we envision is providing a gift basket
for the family, complete with gas cards, restaurant gift certificates, a
devotional, a Bible, a crocheted blanket and a II First Bead.
So
that is the vision and the inspiration for our ministry. We hope we can count on your prayers to see
this to fruition. If you have experience
setting up a 501c3 and could lend your expertise, or have experience setting up
a website, can knit a blanket, donate a gift card or a Bible, if you’d like to
join me in serving in any capacity, it will take many hands and feet to serve
this community and we would be honored by your generosity.
Thank
you for allowing me to share our story and our hearts with you today. God Bless each and every SHINE girl! Much love to you!
Kel
