Geek Squad Wisdom…

Last week my husband and I celebrated 25 years of marriage. 25 years!

I remember vividly helping to throw a party in my late teen years to celebrate my parents 25th anniversary.

A few weeks before our anniversary, two guys from Best Buy’s Geek squad were here helping to install some tv’s and internet stuff for our house.

One of the young technicians looked on the mantle at a family portrait and said, “Ma’am, how long have you and your husband been married?”

“25 years!” I happily said.

“What is the secret, if you don’t mind me asking?” Mr. Geek squad inquisitively asked…

My mind quickly raced to wise things I could say….

But, ultimately, before I could think of a wise saying, I just blurted out…

“Jesus!”

He looked at me, then he looked at the other technician and said, “Did you hear what she said? She said Jesus!”

He then said to me, “That’s awesome! Wow. I mean, that is just really cool.”

I then openly shared with them how marriage was not easy. Especially with children, and circumstances, and finances, and just all the things that come with life.

However, when Jesus is at the center of our marriages, He changes hearts.

The young man was listening intently. He started asking me more questions.

Thirty minutes later, we are still talking about Jesus and marriage.

I will share some of the things I shared with him, with hopes to encourage you in your own marriage.

-Pray for your spouse. As much as possible. Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:16

-Speak less, pray more. I had to learn this the hard way.
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. Proverbs 17:28

-Don’t try to change them. Let Jesus handle that. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26

-Pay attention to what they love. Little things they love. Their favorite meal, their favorite drink, snacks they love. Little things go a long way.

-Be willing to be the first to apologize, even when you think you are not in the wrong. This takes humility. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

-Speak to them kindly as if someone is always listening to you and watching you. Let me assure you, your kids are watching how you speak to your spouse. Make it kind and loving.

-Ask them often how you can pray for them. They may open up more to you and communication will improve.

-Listen more. Speak less. My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

-Let them lead. This one can be difficult for those of us who like to control things. Give them room to lead and to make mistakes. God designed the man to lead the family. He is our head, right under God. God will take care of the outcome if we are obedient in letting go of the reigns. But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3

-Speak highly of your spouse to your kids. Always. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. Colossians 4:6

-Respect their wishes when they don’t feel comfortable joining a small group or being a deacon at church. Nagging them about it will not change their minds. Pray about these things and leave it in God’s hands. Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. Proverbs 21:19

-Try not to belittle them or embarrass them in front of your friends and family. This is detrimental to marriage. Men need their wives to encourage, boost them up, cheer them on. They will become better men with encouragement from us! Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11

-Do not hide things from them. Spending, shopping, whatever it is. Be honest and open. The enemy lives in darkness, so bring everything into the Light of Truth. For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all. Luke 8:17

-Be a helper to him. When you see him doing something, offer to help. This one thing has been so life giving in my own marriage. God made us to be our husbands helper. Literally! Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18

-Pray and keep praying for them. I started writing a scripture each day in my prayer journal to pray over my husband. I have seen much fruit from this one little practice!

Listen, I am by far no expert in marriage. I am still learning a great deal! These are just a few things I shared with these two strangers in my living room. I hope they encourage you as well.

25 years and counting,

jill