Making up beds...
Hi, it's me!
How is it December? Anyone?
I am sitting on my couch staring at this Christmas tree wondering if I can crawl under it and take a long winters nap for about 3 months.
My baby girl just turned 16.
She drove to school for the first time yesterday, and it was hard.
I watched her little tail lights disappear into the drizzly rain, and swallowed back a hard lump in my throat.
I mean, I knew this day was coming. But, why, oh why, does it sting this momma heart so much?
It felt strange having those few extra minutes to get ready to teach my yoga class. It felt weird not rushing out the door in the carpool line.
The good news is, I made up my bed. Nice and slow.
The bad news is, I slumped right back down on it, crunching up my neat linen lines and had a small pity party for myself.
I got myself together and taught my sweet little class. God knew I would need to have something to do that morning.
Driving home, I felt better. Something really refreshing washed over me. Like God breathed His clean air right into my suffocating lungs.
I knew I would be okay.
This would be okay.
He is trustworthy.
I see it written in inky smudges all over my old prayer journals...the aches, the losses, the suffering, the grieving, the worry, the fear....
I also see His Hand weaving His Faithfulness through each season of life. He could see the road ahead when I could not.
He sees the road ahead of me now.
There is a settling that takes place as you grow older and your children begin to grow up.
A sweet contentment begins to rain fresh over your heart. A lack of hard striving and hand wringing begin to make their way into your soul.
You begin to see a little differently. You have a little more wisdom on your side and you know the cost of getting it.
Things don't quite rattle my bones like they used to.
I have seen the goodness of God.
I have the seen the flat out GRACE AND MERCY of God.
When I am eaten up with sin, bitterness, pride, jealousy, worry, fear, anger....
He loves me anyway.
He pulls me close, and I crumple in His arms once again.
He is Faithful. This I know.
As long as I am breathing in air, I know He has a plan for my life. He never said life would not change, He says HE DOES NOT CHANGE.
“For I the Lord do not change; therefore you, O children of Jacob, are not consumed." Malachi 3:6
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
This has been a hard year. For all of us.
Maybe you are in a very difficult season with a child, a husband, a friend, a health issue, a financial burden, a loss, a consuming fear...
I have some really good news for you...
He is still Good. He is still Faithful. He is still Unchanging.
He sees the road ahead of you, and He will carry you when your legs just cannot take one more step.
You just have to trust Him. Talk to Him. Crumple right into Him.
There is no better place to be.
I told my children recently to keep their spiritual eyes on at all times. He is right with us. He is so near. We just have to choose to see, and believe.
I will choose to see Him. I will choose to believe He has good plans for me and my people.
How about you?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
making my bed again,
jill
