Monday SHINE....

Reading Plan for the week of 5/20-5/ 26:

• Monday 5/20: Mark 12:28-44
• Tuesday 5/21: Mark 13:1-23
• Wednesday 5/22: Mark 13:24-37
• Thursday 5/23:  Mark 14:1-25
• Friday 5/24: Mark 14:26-52
• Saturday 5/25:  Mark 14:53-72
• Sunday 5/26: Mark 15:1-21

Happy Monday SHINE girls! Sure hope your weekend was fantastic!

As I went into church yesterday, I prayed that the Lord would reveal, and reveal it clearly, what He wanted our memory verse to be this week. I had something in mind, but wasn't quite sure it was the same direction that He was leading for us.

The sermon started off with the pastor saying this particular verse. I knew without a doubt, this was the scripture we would be memorizing. A close friend and I had just had a conversation regarding this very scripture, this very week! I've told you a million timeabefore that there are no coincidences, just God-incidences. Well, this was one of those.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

This verse is personal to me. Very personal. I've shared a very up close and personal post  before about my struggles with insecurity. Insecurities of every shape and size.

This has been a life-long struggle until He showed me this verse a couple of years ago, and I realized that my insecurities were not based on my weaknesses. Nope. My insecurities were based on my desire to conform to the world. To not be who God created me, Jill Hill, to be. 

I was never happy with my size, my hips, my teeth, my personality, my skin.....nothing. No matter the affirmation I received from my parents, my husband, and my friends, I never believed them. 

Until--- I decided to believe His Word. Until I decided to believe that "I was fearfully and wonderfully made", and for a purpose. Exactly the way I was. 

Since we memorized the verse, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your strength" in Deuteronomy 6:5, a few weeks ago....I've been pondering what this looks like. What does it mean, Lord?

I then started taking an inventory of my thoughts on a daily basis. My conversations with friends. My conversations with the hubby. All of it. 

God very clearly revealed to me that although I desired to love Him completely, there was a huge gaping part of me that was still wanting to conform to this world. 

My thoughts revealed that at least 50 times a day, I had thoughts of discontentment. Ranging from: my weight, my hair, my skin, my marriage, finances, and my mothering abilities. 

50 times! That's NOT good. 

Each time a thought came up, I would ask the Lord to take that thought from me. I would them force a thought of contentment into my mind. 

"take every thought obedient to Christ"

2 Corinthians 10:5

I then heard the Lord clearly say to me: "Jill, why are you so discontented? If you took the world out of the equation, and it was just you, Lem, and your children...would you have these same thoughts? When you conform to Me, instead of the world, you see what truly matters."

So, let me get this straight, Lord. I was having thoughts of discontent because I was holding all of these things up to the "world's light", instead of "God's light". I was viewing myself and my situations through what the world expects of me. Not what YOU desire of me. 

This has been a huge awakening in my spiritual journey. Huge.

As you go through your day, think about your thoughts, your conversations, your desires. Are you holding these up to God's light? Or an unattainable fluorescent light that reveals a false image, and a false reality.

Can we really live in the world, and not be of the world?

His Word says we can. I believe Him.

Lord, help us to conform to You this week. We have so many things screaming at us that we are just not quite good enough. We rebuke those things, Lord. We ask that You help us to recognize the lies that are being thrown at us. You want to transform our minds, which includes seeing ourselves in Your Light. The soft, glowing light of Love, Mercy, and Grace. We are tired and weary from striving and trying to keep up with a race that we don't even belong. Help us to embrace who You created us to be. We bring You such Joy when we are filling our God-designed mold. Thank you, Father. Amen.

conforming to Him,

jill